10 practical tips for families experiencing chronic illness
Illness affects not only the patient but also their surroundings, including family, friends, employers, and coworkers. Illness in the family is also experienced by our pets, which, like emotional radars, sense tension, sadness, and helplessness. Anyone who has them at home surely knows what I mean. With that in mind, I have prepared 10 tips for families experiencing chronic illness.
1. Hold a family meeting and divide responsibilities
Hold a family meeting and divide household responsibilities so that they do not fall on just one person. Even people who do not live with you can get involved—cook extra food when preparing meals for their own households, come once a week to help with cleaning, younger family members can help with walking the dog, taking out the trash, or small gardening tasks. Someone else can help by driving children to school or providing transportation for the patient to medical appointments and treatment.
There are many logistical tasks that increase during illness, so instead of becoming overwhelmed by their chaos, it is worth writing them all down and, together as a family—perhaps also with supportive friends—consider who can contribute and in what way. By distributing responsibilities evenly and planning ahead, you can avoid many tensions and, most importantly, caregiver burnout. Often, one person becomes the main caregiver, but ideally, the surrounding network should get involved as much as possible and support both the patient and the primary caregiver.
2. Listen to each other and ask about needs
Listen to one another. Instead of trying to convince others of your opinions or overwhelming them with advice, tune into each other’s needs. Do not impose your will—instead, ask the patient or their primary caregiver directly what they need. This way, you can avoid misunderstandings and disappointment when your help is met with a neutral or unsatisfactory reaction.
Naturally, we often assume that what we would need is what others need too, but this does not always work. So ask, “What do you need right now?”, and you will learn how to effectively support your loved one. Of course, this applies to everyone in the family. Take care of one another so you have the strength to get through this difficult time and be a source of support for the patient.
3. Create a simple daily routine
Create a small daily routine. Tea at 8:00, shopping together with the patient at 9:00 (if possible), a walk at 12:00, cooking lunch together at 3:00 PM. Someone might say, “Alright, show me who lives like that these days,” but anyone who has experienced chronic illness in the family knows that it can turn life upside down. It often forces us to change work patterns and adjust our daily schedule to caregiving tasks, medical visits, or rehabilitation.
That is why I mean literally one or two repeatable elements of the day that will provide a sense of safety, structure, and control at a time when so many things are beyond our control. These are just examples—you will best know what can become your daily routine. And importantly, I do not mean activities related to the illness. It should be something ordinary, pleasant, giving a moment of relief and a sense of normality.
4. Plan rest and take care of sleep
Plan rest. If you don’t, you will most likely get stuck in a cycle of tasks. This can include 15-minute breaks during the day or a rule such as switching to rest mode at 6:00 PM and preparing for sleep around 8:00 PM. And speaking of sleep—it is important to go to bed as early as possible.
If you have trouble sleeping, engage in something calming—not necessarily scrolling your phone or watching action movies. Simply reducing external stimuli can help your nervous system calm down and recover. This is very important because when we are tired, our coping mechanisms weaken. Even in good health, fatigue makes us irritable, demotivated, and everyday problems seem overwhelming. That is why rest, calm, and relaxation are especially important during illness—they support your recovery.
5. Try to live as normally as possible
Try to live as normally as you can. Of course, shortly after diagnosis this may be difficult—we need time to adapt, to grieve, and to recover from shock. But once things begin to stabilize, it is worth returning to your passions, interests, and social interactions—everything that brings joy and energy.
Try not to let illness consume your entire life. Even if it limits previous activities, there is often a way to adapt them to current circumstances. I see this clearly working in a palliative care unit—there is still life there. Patients stay active, we laugh, joke, talk, and try to bring as much normality into each day as possible.
6. Talk about your fears, sadness, and doubts
Talk about your fears, sadness, and doubts. Suppressing emotions requires a lot of energy, and you need that energy now for recovery and supporting your loved ones.
7. Draw strength from past experiences
Think back to what has helped your family get through difficult times before. You have likely weathered many storms already. Try to recall what gave you strength, what supported you, and helped you persevere. Remember—what is happening now is temporary. No state lasts forever.
8. Don’t be afraid to seek professional help
Do not hesitate to seek psychiatric or psychological support. If anxiety prevents you from sleeping and functioning during the day, it is worth consulting a psychiatrist. You may temporarily need medication, especially at the beginning of the illness. When anxiety becomes overwhelming and disrupts daily functioning, professional support can help you regain balance.
The same applies to psychological support. If you feel overwhelmed and do not want to burden your loved ones, seek help from a psychologist. Many hospitals offer psychological consultations. I hope you find someone supportive and trustworthy who can help you cope with the emotional burden of illness—either your own or that of a loved one.
9. Connect with people with similar experiences
Try to meet patients and families with similar experiences. Often, the greatest source of comfort and information comes from others going through the same thing. However, it can also work the opposite way—some environments may increase anxiety by sharing frightening stories.
That is why it is important to choose your company carefully. Seek out people with a constructive approach to their illness—those who actively engage in their recovery, pursue interests, practice relaxation techniques, adjust their lifestyle, and look for positive inspiration.
10. Be together and nurture closeness
Be together. Do not withdraw from one another. Do not hide your tears. Even if you are suffering, go through it together. You can sit in silence, drink tea, and simply be present. Family time does not have to be about solving problems—it can simply be about being together in a difficult moment.
You do not have to try to comfort everyone all the time. Allow yourselves to feel sadness together—you may be surprised how a sense of humor gradually returns, helping you cope with difficult emotions. Personally, I enjoy family gatherings where we look at old photos. Even in sadness, they remind us of the good moments in life and give hope for the future.
I hope these tips will help you, at least a little, get through this difficult time that illness in the family often brings.