Today I will talk about emotional reactions to the diagnosis of a chronic illness, such as cancer, depending on the time since the diagnosis. Quite often, I hear patients or their families ask questions like, “Is it normal that…?”. These usually concern natural reactions to difficult information—something no one is ever fully prepared for. One such situation is receiving news about a serious illness. And when my interlocutor learns that certain reactions are completely normal, because we are not robots and it is hard to expect normality from ourselves in abnormal circumstances, they become calmer. That is why this time I want to talk about natural reactions to receiving such a diagnosis.

First stage: shock and denial

The first reaction appears immediately after receiving the diagnosis and is associated with disbelief and denial of the information we have just heard. You may feel as if you are seeing the whole world through glass, or as my father once described it, “I feel as if someone locked me in a matchbox.” Perhaps this analogy resonates with some of you. This is a time when we believe there must be a mistake, that it is all a misunderstanding, and that this bad dream will end any moment. This state usually lasts less than a week.

At this stage, it is important above all to give yourself time and not expect immediate acceptance of what is happening. Do not be angry with yourself for feeling sad, overwhelmed, or not knowing what to do. As much as possible, try to focus on gathering information. Write down your questions as they arise and ask them during your next appointment with your doctor. Lack of knowledge creates anxiety, which is why it is so important to understand the plan and know what the treatment will involve.

Second stage: reality and anxiety

The next stage involves gradually coming to terms with the illness. At this point, insomnia, concentration problems, strong anxiety, and loss of appetite often appear. During this stage, patients frequently seek psychiatric support, which can help improve sleep quality—something that is crucial for getting through this difficult time, as fatigue weakens our coping mechanisms.

Difficulties that we would normally manage can, when we are exhausted, grow into seemingly insurmountable problems. Our mood drops significantly, creativity declines, and we are more likely to perceive challenges as hopeless situations. That is why, in order to begin developing a constructive approach to the illness, it is essential to take care of rest and recovery.

Third stage: gradual adaptation

After a few weeks, and sometimes months, we gradually adapt to the illness. We begin to come to terms with the diagnosis and treatment, and we start using available resources to support our recovery. We open up to help, learn how to ask for it, and regain hope for improvement. At this stage, some patients even begin to joke about their illness, because a sense of humor becomes one of the ways to cope and reduce emotional burden. Patients start finding their own ways of dealing with the situation and develop strategies that help them get through this time.

The impact of past experiences

Our reaction largely depends on our past experiences with a given illness. Were similar stories among our loved ones or public figures we follow in the media optimistic? Was their treatment successful? If not, the anxiety may be much stronger, and the adaptation process may take longer. Therefore, if someone has negative associations with a particular illness, I suggest that they look, for example, online for stories of people whose treatment was successful, who turned their illness into strength and now enjoy a good life. In today’s world of social media, it is much easier than before to find such encouraging examples.

Psychological support as a tool in recovery

Remember that at every stage you can seek support from a psychologist. It is worth asking at the healthcare facilities where you are diagnosed and treated about the possibility of speaking with one. Do not be afraid to use this form of support, because I know that most patients do not want to burden their loved ones with their fears. That is why it is helpful to talk to someone from outside your immediate circle.

If you are hesitant about opening up, treat the meeting as purely educational. You will likely learn how to support your recovery process and how to cope with natural reactions such as anxiety. And if you have had negative experiences with psychologists in the past, give another one a chance. I believe that eventually you will find someone you trust and who will show you that working with a psychologist can be a great source of support during treatment.